Many marriages are characterized by strife and bickering rather than peace and harmony.
The bible says in Luke 17:1-5 that “it’s impossible that no offense should come”. How you respond to the conflicts and deal with them is the real issue. When sexual problems commonly occur in a marriage, some couples endure it privately or give up, doing nothing to resolve them. Sexual problems in marriage should be recognized and dealt with since they have enormous effects in a marriage
It’s not something that you ever want to have to face as a married couple, but there may come a time when there may be sexual problems in marriage. You want to work together to figure out what is going on. You want to try to pinpoint what the biggest problem areas are.
At the very least having the awareness and the desire to try to fix any sex problems in marriage is the biggest and most important step. You can truly fix these sex issues in marriage, but only if you are both committed to doing this and making this area of your relationship work.
You want to try to find your way to each other and therefore let go of all of the outside distractions. It may be that you are experiencing these issues because you’re not communicating anymore, and therefore you are no longer aligned with one another.
You may have experienced some sort of trauma in the marriage and therefore need to talk this through. At this point, you may find marriage counseling may work best to help you through this type of situation. If you are facing sexual boredom in marriage or wondering how to make your sex life more exciting.
Such problems include:
Stress: Excessive stress can wreck havoc on your health, including your sex drive. The stress hormone cortisol can also play a role in lowering your libido. In addition to the physical reasons why stress lowers sex drive, the psychological effects of stress can leave you so tired, frazzled, and anxious that you simply don’t have the desire or energy for sex.
From worrying about money to deadlines at work, everyday stress can lead to low libido. Dealing with so many concerns can impact your sex life, exacerbating your stress by potentially causing relationship issues.
Overcoming stress and low libido:
Minimizing stress and maintaining a good sex life with your partner is possible, especially if you both put in time and effort. Here are a few strategies to consider.
Practice stress management:
If you suspect that life stress is putting a damper on your libido, one of the first solutions you should consider is overall stress management. If you reverse your stress response using effective relaxation techniques, you won’t experience as many hormonal disturbances from chronic stress. Try some known strategies for dealing with worry or anxiety in other areas of your life so that they won’t have an impact on your sex drive.
Make time for each other:
Many of us find ourselves busier than we ever thought possible. Being constantly busy means having little downtime, which can drain your energy and make sex unappealing. A busy schedule can also mean a busy mind—and having a lot on your mind can make it difficult to relax and “get in the mood.” Packed schedules can even present difficulties in finding the time for sex or make it feel like just one more chore on your mile-long “to-do list.
Examine your relationship:
When dealing with low libido, it’s also important to look at the health of your relationship. Studies show that relationship stress and conflicts within the relationship can be a stronger factor in low libido than other types of stress. This is true for both men and women
Working through relationship difficulties is important for many reasons, and your sex drive is a big one. The first step should be to make sure you’re using communication techniques that are fair and supportive of your relationship. Try to view problems as challenges you face together rather than seeing one another as “the enemy.” Try to find strategies that support the needs of both partners.
If you have difficulty doing this on your own, a therapist or marriage counselor can help you develop more effective relationship skills and work through some deeper skills.
Practice self-care:
It’s hard to feel good about having sex if you don’t feel good about yourself. Practicing self-care means eating a healthy diet, exercising, getting good sleep, practicing stress management techniques, pampering yourself, enjoying time for self-reflection, and ditching harmful habits like smoking and drinking (which put your health at risk and dampen sexual desire). By taking time for a little self-care, you’re taking time to build confidence and feel sexy, energetic, and more than worthy of your partner’s affections.
Exercise is a good way to keep stress at bay and boost your self-esteem which, in turn, can boost your libido. When you react to stress, your body goes through a series of changes in order to prepare you to run away or stay and fight.
In addition to the physiological effects of stress, there is also a psychological aspect. Stress can cause you to have a busy, frazzled mind, and distract you from wanting sex or being present during sex. It can also impact your mood, leading to anxiety and depression, which can diminish libido in their own right.
Lastly, uncontrolled stress can lead to unhealthy habits such as smoking, drinking, and overeating and poor lifestyle choices like lack of self-care and exercise that can influence how you feel about yourself and interfere with a healthy sex.
