This topic, THE REALITIES OF LOVE, simply seeks to expose or reveal what love actually is when the chips are down. It endeavours to beam light on what love is when it is devoid of sentiments and immature emotions.
There is no way we can possibly understand the realities of love without firstly understanding what love itself is.
Love as it were is one of the world’s most commonly used words yet one of the most misunderstood concepts.
The misunderstanding of what love or its concept is does not by any means minimise its potency. Love is the most potent force there is in existence whether it is in the natural or the supernatural. It was on the premise of love that divinity became humanity and faced the full penalty for our iniquity and yet sought no equity. Love! Yes love can melt any mountain; it can freeze any ocean, melt any heart and resolve any puzzle!!
To properly understand love it is important to consider what it is not. Love is not an emotion, love is not romance neither is it sex. That is why one can demand for sex at gun point. He’s not asking for love rather he’s got a thirst in him he’s trying to quench. So giving or getting sex is not a demonstration of love and this is where many young fellows get it twisted. Love is not weak and it’s not weakness. Love is not a feeling; it’s also not a game or gamble. Love is not convenient!
WHAT THEN IS THIS LOVE?
We can understand what a thing is by closely looking at its characteristics.
The Characteristics of Love
Love is compassionate
Love is deliberate
Love is a sacrifice (or is sacrificial)
Love is a strength not a weakness (or is strong)
Love is in its expression not its profession
Love is a personality.
‘We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.’ -1John 4:16(NLT)
The reality of love is that God is love and it is logical therefore to assert that love is God. This assertion will be largely misunderstood today being that we’re living in a world that is today relegating the personality of God and giving it the back stage. The pursuit of God and His knowledge is today no longer paramount in the hearts of men even amongst the Church folks. The reality of love is that the more of God you have, the more of love you have to give away. ‘…and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them’. You just cannot give love if you do not have God. You lack the capacity to do so! You have to have God to have love. There is just no other way to it. The measure of love you posses in your spirit which you can share with your world is directly proportional to how much of God you carry on your inside.
This is the undoing of this generation, the bane of our world today. Do you wonder why marriages expire and dissolve most easily and frequently in our days? Many people seated here in this room today have marriages they can refer to that never survived to see first wedding anniversary. Today it is not uncommon to see marriages break within their first month and some within 24 hours. Have you wondered why? I tell you why, the people have pushed God farther away and thereby lost love.
The loss of God in our hearts, in our homes and in our society at large, which is the direct loss of love is primarily the reason for the unabating high rates of wickedness and all sorts of criminality in our world today. Where did we learn this mindless kidnapping and butchering of fellow humans, the raping of infants, killing of pregnant women and children? Who did we sell our minds to? How and when did we get here? We lost God and so lost love. Compassion is at the heart of love. A world that has no love will know no compassion. Sacrifice is at the heart of love, you don’t have love you can’t give up anything for anyone. That is why it is a selfish world we are living in today. The loss of God is the reason for it.
If you are looking to restore love in your life, relationship, home or marriage, you have got to return God. To return God is to restore a ceaseless flow the fountain of love in your heart, relationship or marriage. It is not everyone that calls God that has Him at the centre of their lives, homes or relationships. That is why so called Christian marriages also fail. They simply lost The Fountain of love.
There is no genuine pursuer of God that loses love. Never! Scriptures cannot be broken! When you chase after God you are inadvertently chasing after love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.
See what God’s word says in Song of Songs 8:7:
‘Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.'(NLT)
‘Many waters’ here represent hardship, turbulence, difficulties, struggles, challenges, crises, misunderstandings, quarrellings, fights, modernization, changing world systems, et cetera, CANNOT QUENCH LOVE. It continues ‘nor can rivers…’, this is just in case you are thinking of these ‘Many waters’ as being small water bodies, God says even bigger ones, RIVERS cannot DROWN IT.
You cannot be a genuine lover of God and not have love to share.
My earnest prayer is that God in His mercy helps us to retrace our step to rediscovering love. Amen.
Matters of love are very interesting and captivating when mentioned but the question one might be tempted to ask sometimes is whether love is a reality or just an assumption. The truth is that love is incontestably a reality and is evident in every human endeavour be it spiritual, psychological or otherwise. Let’s bring this claim home as we digest the vast realities involving love.
LOVE IS REAL: First of all let’s look at it from Gods point of view: …” for God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son…… (Quote), “….. What manner of love is this that a man should lay down his life for his own friends…. (Quote). We are all products of God’s love.
In various families also we experience love of varying degrees from our parents, children, wives, husbands, in-laws etc. When parents go almost naked to see their children through school and other challenges, it is love; when we inconvenience ourselves to make others happy, it is love.
When a lady decides to leave her family including her family name to go and live with a man in marriage or when a man decides to make a lady from somewhere his priority above family members, this can best be described as love.
LOVE IS SACRIFICIAL: If you take a critical look at love, you will discover that love is all about sacrifice. Any love claim without sacrifice is not real. However any sacrifice that contradicts your faith and conviction should be avoided.
LOVE GROWS: In relationships, especially marital relationships and courtship, time is needed for the best of love to come out. Love is like a seed that grows where the conditions are favorable and dies if the conditions are unfavorable. Don’t be in a haste to conclude that this relationship is not going to work, the older the wine the better the taste. If it is very obvious that it’s not going to work after you have made the necessary sacrifices, then quit.
TRUE LOVE CAN BE FRUSTRATED: It is a common saying that gesture is reciprocal. Everyone in a relationship needs love, it should not be one sided otherwise it will not last. Loving in relationships mustn’t be based on the principle of “do me, I do you, god no go vex”. Reciprocate your partner’s love or prepare to lose him/her to a better lover.
LOVE NEEDS MAINTAINANCE: Just like we maintain our properties, love also needs to be maintained. Don’t let your partner always predict your next moves, give him/her surprises. You should be able to buy gifts, sometimes arrange for lunch/dinner in good places according to your ability, declare unexpected savings, appreciate each other as much as possible.
THE SPONTANEITY OF LOVE: Try as much as possible to avoid love at first sight, love can be spontaneous though but take your time before you drop your precious heart in anyone’s hands. All that glitters they say is not gold. Don’t misplace your priorities. If you know that it is not yet time for you to unlock the reservoir of love, please hold yourself.
WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO OPEN UP FOR LOVE (Relationship between opposite sexes): The book of Ecclesiastes makes it clear that there is time for everything. If you start the right things at the wrong time expect consequences. At every phase of love in our lives we should make sure that God is honored. It is laughable and to some extent stupid if we refuse to start something with God only to start calling Him when the consequences of neglecting Him come up. It is better to build a strong carriage that can hold a weighty matter like love before going into it. Maturity is a very important factor before one starts thinking of love relationship, it is not necessarily about age but for one to be able to have a good idea of what one is stepping into. Prepare for love before you step into it, ask yourself why you are opening up for love and how realistic your aims are.
MAKE YOURSELF LOVABLE: Appearance alone is not enough to sustain love, build yourself into an adorable personality ready to love and be loved. Close relationships between opposite sexes should be purposeful, primarily marriage