Love is simple and pure, but relationships are another story. Love is not overcomplicated, full of drama and turmoil. True love is experienced by mature people, who chase love in itself, while drama is reserved for immature individuals, who are only interested in a good story.
“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort“. True love is dedication to a cause, it is a willingness to fight for and protect what you have with them. If they are unwilling to fight for it, then they are just playing games.”
When we think of love it’s easy to think about good feelings. But real love is not dependent on feelings. It is about so much more than how I feel about someone. Whether it is romantic love, a member of my family, a friend, a co-worker, so often love is given and received based on what I myself get out of it. But what do I do when it costs me something to love someone? What does the bible say about true love?
“Love is long-suffering and kind. It does not envy; does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth: bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
So, what is love then? When I can do all these things in spite of my feelings, regardless of someone’s actions, that is love. I do not feel loving when I am tempted to anger, to impatience, to seek my own, to believe the worst, to give up on someone. But when I deny these feelings and rejoice, am long-suffering, humble myself, bear with someone, endure all things – that is true love. Love lays down its life, those natural reactions and demands that are a part of human nature, and expects nothing in return.
If you ask someone to describe what being in love feels like, they will describe something that sounds like sexual passion and desire tinged with obsession. As far as our genes are concerned, sexual desire is where it’s, and it’s a strong drive, so after a brush with passion we might find ourselves saying, “I thought I was in love, but it wasn’t love – just lust.”
A deep authentic connection is almost like the Holy Grail nowadays. So many people are in relationships, so very few of them genuinely connected.
In some cases, it may be nothing more than an established physical “partnership” or the friends with benefits type of thing. There are also couples who have agreed to not get emotionally involved due to prior heartbreak. The contexts are numerous.
Yet, a successful relationship cannot be based on love only. It requires respect, trust, understanding, care, mutual interests, and similar goals in life. A mature relationship has a bright future, which is not the case with an immature one.
Here are differences between mature and immature relationships:
1. Mature relationships are strong and passionate, so they do not peter out
2. Mature relationships do not require validation, as they are founded on comfort and trust, while immature ones are consumed by insecurity and doubts
3. Mature couples are not preoccupied with timelines and do not allow cultural norms to affect their decisions about important things. People in love allow things to happen at their own pace and trust their instincts.
4. In a mature relationship, partners solve their problems face to face, instead of spending their days bickering over a screen
5. No one can come between partners in a mature relationship, while immature relationships are endangered by various outside factors
6. Mature relationships do not make you feel empty, while an immature one will always make you feel like you are missing something
7. Partners in a mature relationship are already developed, and they respect individuality, while immature ones aim to achieve completeness in the relationship
8. Immature relationships dwell on the past. Mature partners are not worried about each other’s past; they are focused on the present moment and the future they will spend together. Mature couples do not feel threatened by anybody.
A healthy and strong relationship is based on mature love. Mature love exists without question of motive or condition, it trusts, accepts, respects, waits, and forgives.
On the other hand, immature couples are jealous, afraid, impatient, and intolerant to mistakes, demanding and needy, and insincere.