With Ogechi Erondu
A healthy marriage is a beautiful relationship, but it can be a lot of hard work. Luckily, if you’re a Christian, you have the benefit of God’s word to help guide your marriage. The Bible is full passages about love, including a number of verses that speak specifically to how someone should treat their wife. To fulfill God’s wishes for your marriage, cherish your wife, treat her with respect, and hold yourself to the highest standard so you can be a leader in your home.
How to show love to your wife:
Cherish your wife above everyone else. Aside from God, your wife should be the most important person in your life, and your relationship should be based on a deep, personal love for each other. In fact, in Ephesians 5:25, the Bible says that you should love your wife the way Christ loved the church, and in Ephesians 5:28, the Bible says that you should love your wife the way you love your own body. It doesn’t get much more intimate than that.
This means that you should know your wife inside and out, so throughout your marriage, pay attention to what she says and does so you can learn as much about her as possible. Embrace everything that makes her unique and special.
Work with your wife as a team.
You and your wife will need to work shoulder-to-shoulder to build a life together, so treat her as your companion and your helpmate. In fact, in Genesis 2:18, the Bible says that God created Eve because Adam needed a “suitable helper.” Genesis 2:24 also says: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
In a healthy marriage, you and your partner will enhance each other’s best qualities and help balance out each other’s faults, acting as one solid unit to take on the world. For instance, if you tend to be impatient, you might find that your wife is slower to anger, so you might rely on her in situations where you find yourself waiting.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 supports this as well: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”
Show your wife tenderness, even if she makes a mistake.
As much as you love your wife, she may occasionally make an error in judgment, be impatient or unkind toward you, or upset you in some other way. However, Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” Be slow to anger and show your wife forgiveness and love. This will allow her to grow from her mistakes, rather than being haunted by them.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 also describes this kind of love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” You will need to be humble and apologize if you make a mistake in the relationship, as well.
Protect your wife from harm.
Although your wife is capable of taking care of herself, the Bible still charges you with caring for her. That might mean helping her avoid situations where she might be in danger, or it might mean standing up for her if someone is being unkind. In some cases, you might even protect your wife by making responsible choices for yourself, since she would be affected if you made bad decisions that cost you your livelihood or physical health.
Encourage your wife to be the best version of herself.
When you’re in a happy, healthy marriage, you want to see your spouse live up to their fullest potential. Point out the strengths you see in your wife to help build her up, and always encourage her to follow her dreams. Remember, everyone has unique talents and passions, and the Bible says that we should use these gifts to honor God.
Wives submit to your husbands
The Greek word for submission is hupotasso, “to subordinate…put under…” God exhorts women to voluntarily follow their husband’s leadership (Ephesians 5:22, 1 Peter 3:1). A woman is actively doing this– choosing to put herself under leadership, choosing to be subordinate in a circumstance or relationship. This is not forced upon her by the recipient.
Submission should not be confused with a person being weak. Women are not commanded to submit to their husband’s because God insures that men will be just or loving. When a woman submits unto her husband, she is actually submitting unto God (Ephesians 5:22). A woman therefore does not submit because her husband deserves it in his own merit- she submits because she knows it is pleasing to her Lord.
There will be times when a woman needs to submit, and her husband does not deserve it from a human perspective. But by divine right, God set the man as leader and a woman can trust that God is good. She can also know that nothing escapes God’s notice, and a wicked man will be held accountable for his actions.
When a wife submits to her husband, she does not try to take leadership from him. From the beginning of time, woman has tried to take leadership from the man- and man has often gladly given it away. Women use many tactics to try taking control of leadership, including nagging, deception, and manipulation.
This always results in sin and often, sorrowful consequences (Genesis 27). When a woman resorts to these tactics, she is trying to usurp God’s good design of relationship roles. A submissive wife must first learn to trust God’s goodness and His sovereignty.
However, a submissive wife is not relegated to idly sitting by while her husband makes all the family decisions. In a healthy marriage, husband and wife work as a team. When a decision cannot be jointly agreed upon, the leader makes it, knowing he is responsible foremost unto God for that decision.
In these circumstances or in a decision that the husband must make alone, a submissive wife is not overstepping her boundaries by offering counsel.
She must learn to do it in a way that shows respect for his God-given position as head of the family. A submissive woman also offers abundant encouragement, understanding that making decisions is a heavy responsibility on a man’s shoulders.