In living life we get so attached to something or some kind of relationships. There is nothing wrong in having an appeal for somebody or something but there is something wrong if we carry on as if that person or object is indispensable in our lives. In reality there is nothing that is indispensable because there is always an alternative to everything.
Most often in our various interactions we come across people we appreciate greatly arising perhaps from some positive qualities they hold, or other virtues that make great impressions or impact in our lives. We always wish to have such people around us every time and would hardly cherish their absence away from us.
A good example is the attachment of a child to the mum or dad. The child would normally break down in tears if he notices that he has lost the presence of the guardian that is always with him. When my nine year old son was dropped off in a boarding school in one of the Federal Government colleges back in the days, as we made to drive off, the mother broke down in tears.
Surprisingly, the boy excitedly waved on but the mother could not hold herself as she had imagined what life would look like without the boy that had always kept her company. She had nursed the sense of loss of affection for the child who is not even the only child she has. In no time she got adjusted to the reality that if the child must grow he has to find his way to something else.
In the society, stories abound of relationships particularly among young adults who get attached, one to the other. We often hear of sad tales of broken hearts and broken relationships most of which end up in tragedies. This is the situation that results when one gets deeply attached to another and he or she feels that life is not complete without the other person in his life.
Some call it love. Women more often become victims because they get too trusting in a relationship especially when they get hooked to someone who holds a lot of promises that they have long sought for. They dream of a good family and suddenly the bubble bursts and the guy takes a walk to pick another heart throb. That becomes a dream shattered. Sometimes the reverse is the case too.
What is the reason that makes people get deeply hooked to others or some objects or behaviours? Simply because they have seen what they are looking for. People latch on to things or persons that provide them comfort. Depending on how we enjoy this comfort we often would not let go anymore and even sometimes behave as if this comfort cannot be sourced anywhere outside what we now have.
Attachment breeds some exploitative tendencies and usually leaves the attaché at the mercy of the person attached to. In most relationships we often see one person controlling the other. What the loved one says is in order because there is a slavish adherence to his opinion. The reason some people would do certain things is nothing other than it was advised by their lover whether or not that act makes any sense.
Getting attached to anything exposes our weaknesses in rising to meet challenges of lack. We suffer from the thinking that we probably can’t get a replacement if we lose this prized relationship. It is an indirect way of mocking the abundance of the resources that God has placed at our disposal.
Nobody and nothing I repeat is indispensable. It is only our minds and our short sightedness that plays a game on us. Again attachment creates jealousy among people. It is a natural phenomenon. The person attaching would become possessive and would not want to share what he is enjoying with others. Little wonder we hear of people killing one another because another person may have interfered in their relationship.
So many inconveniences and miseries result from attachment. Our potentials and growth can be retarded by attaching ourselves to someone or something because the object of attachment may have a strong influence on our conduct. In like manner too people so get hooked up to their past that they will refuse to move forward or up.
The past may be a sweet or ugly experience but they may choose to dwell in it that they fail to face the present realities. Detach from your fears or failures because it has become a past. History can only provide a lesson for the future and cannot be the present.
Getting attached is similar to the problem of addiction we encounter in life.
We are addicted to some forms of life or activities that we think life has no meaning without those indulgences. We are accustomed to some practices or foods consumption that even when we know these things are harmful to us we cannot pull out of it. We come short of idolizing them or are simply enslaved by them.
They have become ingrained or programmed into our consciousness. Addiction is like attachment which disables us from seeing the other perspectives.
Addiction is a negative quality and sadly most times it claims some people’s lives. When we are addicted we are reveling in excesses and it should be checked.
We should never get passionate about anything that it becomes our god. It was not for nothing that God said that thou shall not have any other God except me. To stem the problem of addiction or attachment we should become creative in our imaginations. We should never limit our choices or chances of success.
Addiction or attachment is a way of limiting our freedom of choice. We can exercise a better option sometimes when we are adventurous. Addictions or attachments have a touch of sadness. When we pledge to love forever or do everything for our loved one we forget that death can put paid to such promises and our hearts get broken in that form.
And finally in the words of Harry Milner serving our passions is the greatest slavery and the greatest hate often spring from the greatest love. Live is better lived from the point of detachment. Enjoy.